Marry Me, Earthmonkey! 2: Yes This is a Sequel
by animeninjaNIPPON
Summary: Somebody wants revenge on Zim. Somebody wants the chance to prove herself to the Tallest. And somebody is stirring things up between Zim and Dib! [slash, slight femmeslash]
1. Tak's Revenge

By animeninjaNIPPON

"Greetings, my Tallest," spoke a female voice on a purple planet far, far away from Earth. It was Tak, communicating with her Irken leaders through a makeshift computer phone.

"Tak?" Red inquired in disbelief. "I thought Zim killed you."

"No, but he DID knock me out of my ship and destroy my SIR unit's memory." She stepped to the side so the Tallest could see Mimi, who was in a Gir-like state drawing Irken smiley faces in the extraterrestrial soil.

"So," Purple continued, "what do you want?"

"I want to prove myself as an Irken Invader," she announced proudly. "Revenge on Zim wouldn't be so bad, either."

"Revenge on Zim, huh?" Red repeated deviously. Then he got an idea, which he relayed to Purple in a whisper.

Purple grinned evilly. "Well, Zim's still banished to that 'Earth' place. Last we heard of him, he was engaged to an Earth-creature with a really big head."

"Yes. Zim said HORRIBLE things about the Irken Empire before we cut all contact with him, though," Red added, "and he should be punished for slandering our superior name!"

"Leave it to me!" Tak exclaimed. "I will prove my worth to the Irken race by punishing Zim for insulting our honor!"

"Sure, go ahead," Purple permitted evasively. "This ought to be interesting…" He cut the transmission.

"How can you agree to that?" Red asked. "She's too SHORT to be a worthwhile Invader!"

"But she did promise us snacks a long time ago."

"Eh, she's taller than Skooge was. She might make a good edition to the Empire."

"Better her than Zim…"

As the Tallest continued their conversation, Tak took apart the computer phone to rebuild her escape pod. When she finished, she grabbed Mimi (who was dancing to a tuneless beat) and threw the little SIR into the back of the pod.

"You'll pay, ZIM!" she swore, launching the escape pod off the deserted planet and deep into outer space.

End of part one


	2. Romance

By animeninjaNIPPON

Back on Earth, it was another average skool day. Ms. Bitters was rambling on about doom and such, as usual. Dib was trying to convince everyone that Zim was an alien, to no avail, as usual. Zim was denying it and insulting Dib, as usual. Then the bell rang, and things got a little out of the ordinary.

Dib followed Zim home at a steady pace – not too close, not too far away. As soon as Zim was positively sure that the only ones around for a half-mile radius were himself and the big-headed boy, he stopped walking and allowed Dib to catch up to him.

"So, how was your day?" Dib asked with a smile, slipping his hand into the former Invader's.

"You were there, Dib," Zim replied matter-of-factly.

"I mean, aside from pretending that we still hate each other."

"Hmm…" They walked a few blocks before Zim finally answered, "I suppose it was OK."

Dib sighed. They had been seeing each other for quite a while, yet Zim still wouldn't engage in much casual conversation. But Dib had to cut his former foe some slack – after all, Zim wasn't all that experienced when it came to relationships. All he had to go by were the tips he got from books and movies, and the occasional hint from his computer or Gir. Nevertheless, Zim tried.

He looked over at the human. "And how was your day…Dib?"

Dib shrugged. "All right, I guess."

A few blocks later, they arrived at Zim's base. The lawn gnomes were no longer active, but Dib was still attacked – by an overly happy Gir.

"MOMMY!" Gir squealed, knocking Dib to the ground.

"W-WHAT!" Dib stammered. Gir certainly never said THAT before.

"Gir, stop that nonsense!" Zim yelled. Dib rose from the ground, brushing himself off, then followed Gir and Zim into the house.

Once inside, Gir ran off somewhere, leaving Zim and Dib alone in the middle of the living room. Dib took off his backpack and threw it on the couch, and Zim did the same with his human disguise.

"I really like your natural eyes," Dib said, stepping closer to Zim. "They're so…I dunno… red."

"REALLY?" Zim asked demurely.

Dib nodded, wrapping his arms around the Irken. "You're very interesting."

"Of course," Zim replied. "I am ZIM!"

Dib smiled in amusement at that comment. Pulling Zim closer, he tilted his head slightly, leaned in toward Zim's face, and –

Suddenly, Gir popped up between them, causing them to break the embrace. "Everybody, do the MACARENA!" He threw out his arms and started shaking his little metal booty.

"Gir! You HORRIBLE little ROBOT!" Zim screamed furiously. "The Dib and I were doing something IMPORTANT!"

Dib sighed again. Between skool and Gir, he never got enough time alone with Zim.

End of part two


	3. Kat, the Horrible New Girl

By animeninjaNIPPON

The next day at skool, Ms. Bitters had an announcement to make. "We have a new student," she grumbled, stepping out from behind her desk. "This is Kat." She gestured to the new girl standing next to the door.

Kat smiled nervously and muttered, "Hi."

Dib looked over at her. She had short maroon hair, amber eyes, and a black-and-red striped dress with black sleeves. On her back she had a magenta backpack. She wore black tights and long, red-and-black boots. For some reason, she looked strangely familiar…

"Tell the class a little about yourself, Kat," Ms. Bitters prompted in her usual demeanor.

"My uncle is the president of Krazy Taco," she replied. "And I have a cat named Mimi…and that's about it."

"All right then." Ms. Bitters straightened up. "Since what's-his-name stopped coming to skool, there's an empty seat next to Dib." She motioned for Kat to sit down.

At lunchtime, Zim and Dib sat separately, as usual. Zim sat alone, and Dib sat with his sister.

"There's Zim over there," Dib sighed, spying on the object of his affection.

"So?" Gaz was the only person who knew about the real relationship between Zim and Dib, but all the same, she didn't care.

Just then, Kat went over to Zim's table with a tray of food. "Can I sit here?"

"AWAY, foolish Earth-monkey!" Zim shouted, standing upon the table and brandishing a spork. "NOBODY is SUPERIOR enough to eat in the presence of the almighty ZIM!"

Kat eyed Zim weirdly, then picked up her tray and left. Zim jumped off the table and fell gracefully back into his seat. No sooner had the redhead disappeared from view than Dib felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned around.

"Can I sit here?" Kat asked.

"Umm, OK," Dib answered. Kat put her tray next to Dib's and sat down. "This is my sister, Gaz – " He turned to his other side, but no one was there. "Gaz?"

"That's all right," Kat said quietly. "You can introduce us later." She poked at the mashed potatoes.

"Be careful of those," Dib warned.

Kat dropped her spoon and pushed her tray away in fear. Then she whirled around to face Dib with a smile on her face. "So, what's your name?"

"I'm Dib."

"I've heard of you…you're into all that paranormal stuff, aren't you?"

"Mm-hmm." Dib nodded.

"Oh my goodiness… ME TOO!" Kat's eyes grew wide and sparkly. Thus began a long, detailed discussion about Bigfoot, aliens, and "Mysterious Mysteries." They talked and laughed for at least fifteen minutes before Dib was hit in the head by a full tray of food. Kat gasped in horror as Dib fell to the floor, purple slime all over his trench coat.

He got up with his hand clasped firmly to the side of his head, using his other hand to wipe the slime off his coat. He spun around in the direction the offending projectile had come from and came face-to-face with Zim.

"What do you want, space boy?" Dib demanded.

"I WANT my Earth-foods back," Zim replied through clenched teeth. Dib picked up the empty tray, which Zim proceeded to yank out of the human's outstretched hands before stomping back to his table.

Dib risked one more glance at the angry alien. If looks could kill, then at that moment Zim would have had no trouble destroying the human race.

End of part three


	4. Lover's Quarrel

By animeninjaNIPPON

When skool let out that afternoon, Zim refused to walk with Dib, even when no one was around.

"Zim! Are you mad at me?" he asked, panting from having to run to catch up.

"Of COURSE I am!" Zim yelled. "You were courting that pig-smelly FEMALE!"

"I was not!" Dib denied.

Zim slowed to a stop. "I WOOED you, DIB! I KNOW a courtship ritual when I SEE ONE!"

"You didn't really woo me, Zim. I liked you anyway. I – "

"LIAR! YOU LIE!" Zim narrowed his eyes and pointed his gloved finger at Dib.

"You're jealous – "

"Dib! There you are!" exclaimed a high, pretty voice. As predicted, it was Kat, standing in a rather charming pose with her legs together and her hands behind her back. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?" Dib replied.

Zim scowled. "Fine. ENJOY your little WOOING, Dib-worm!" With that, he left.

Dib exhaled woefully. Most days, either Zim wasn't in the mood for affection or he never got the chance to show it. Now he was jealous when his admirer received attention from someone else. Almost typical, in a way.

"What was that about?" Kat asked.

"You don't want to know," Dib assured her, blushing slightly. "Now, what were you going to ask me?"

"Oh, well…" She looked down at her boots, scuffing one foot against the sidewalk. "I just wanted to know if…you'd walk home with me tomorrow after skool."

Dib looked in the general direction of Zim's base. Apparently, he wouldn't be walking with Zim anytime soon. "I guess."

"OK then…see you tomorrow?"

"Sure thing."

The two humans went their separate ways. Unknown to either of them, Zim was watching them from the bushes the whole time.

"So THAT'S the way it is, IS IT?" he muttered. "The Dib will feel my wrath TOMORROW! NO ONE goes behind the back of ZIM! NO ONE!" He stood up and shot a gloved fist into the air, then felt a tap on his shoulder. He jumped. "Who DARES to – "

"I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this." Dib stared at Zim.

"I gave up FAME and GLORY for you!"

"You were kicked out of your empire."

Zim gave Dib the evil eye for approximately two minutes, trying to come up with a decent insult. He directed a finger at the annoyed human and addressed him as though uttering a curse, despite his words: "I love you."

Before the sweet taboo had time to sink into Dib's gargantuan head, Zim was gone.

End of part four


	5. Secrets Revealed!

By animeninjaNIPPON

Dib couldn't believe what Zim had said to him the other day. Unless it was the Irken equivalent of the F-bomb that sounded familiar to an Earthen phrase, Zim had confessed love. "I always thought I'd say it first."

"Huh?" said Kat, who was walking beside him.

"Oh, nothing."

They walked through the park in awkward silence. When they came to an empty bench, Kat sat down.

"Come here, Dib." She patted the spot next to her.

Reluctantly, Dib sat down.

"There's something I wanted to ask you…about Zim."

Since Dib had no idea what Kat could possibly want to know about his extraterrestrial boyfriend, he didn't like where the subject was going. "What about him?"

"Well, nothing serious," she replied evasively. "It's just that he seems to be bothering you all the time. Do you want me to get rid of him?"

Dib's eyes widened. That was the last thing he wanted. Maybe if she had said something six months ago, he would have consented…but not anymore.

"Dib? Did you hear me?"

He blinked. "Nah. I can handle Zim."

"Are you sure? 'Cuz I know some advanced military moves that could take him out fast."

"No. It's OK."

"Oh." She scooted a little closer to Dib. "I…I think you should know something."

Dib smiled. "There's something I think you should know, too." He turned to Kat, who grinned cheesily. "The jig is up, Tak."

"What?" That wasn't what Kat expected to hear.

"I know it's you. Tak, that alien who tried to replace the Earth's core with snacks. It is SO obvious!"

"I – I don't know what you're talking about. I'm Kat."

"That's right – 'Kat' is 'Tak' spelled backwards. You have a cat named Mimi, just like her SIR unit. Your 'uncle' works for Krazy Taco, just like her so-called 'father' worked for Deelishus Weenie!"

"You're crazy!" She stood up and walked away.

"Reveal yourself, alien!"

"I'm no alien, honest! If anyone in our skool is an alien, it's you! Or that weirdo Zim…"

"I LOVE Zim! So don't you DARE think you're alien tricks can lure me into telling you his weaknesses!"

"You're – in love – with…" She started panicking. "I don't know what I ever saw in you! You're NUTS!"

Kat ran away screaming.

For a moment Dib thought about what he said. "Hmm, if she's really Tak, wouldn't she have revealed herself? Oh well – wait, what did I say about Zim?"

He pondered his outburst on the way home.

End of part five


	6. Tak Explains Stuff

By animeninjaNIPPON

As soon as he got home, he noticed that Gaz was playing video games with someone. "I didn't know you had any friends," Dib commented as he crossed the living room on his way to the kitchen. He stopped abruptly halfway toward his destination and did a double take.

This time, it was clearly Tak. She was wearing her hologram human disguise and sitting next to Gaz.

"I KNEW IT!" Dib screeched in a Zim-like manner. "I knew you were here, Kat!"

"The name is 'Tak,' you idiot," the alien-in-disguise snapped.

"Go away, freak," Gaz growled at her brother.

Dib ignored the name-calling. "What are you doing here?"

Gaz paused the game and stood up, ready to see to her obnoxious sibling's demise. "Why don't you go annoy your boyfriend or something?"

Tak stood up as well. "That would be Zim, correct?"

"Sadly, yes," Gaz replied. She looked up at Dib. "Leave us alone."

"But – she's trying to take over the planet!"

"Well, that was my original intention," Tak explained. "You see, I landed here about three Earth hours ago to exact revenge on Zim for ruining my last mission. Then I ran into Gaz. We started talking about how stupid you and Zim are, and then we started talking about my ship, which led to talking about these 'video games,' as she calls them…"

"And what does this have to do with anything?" Dib interrupted. Gaz hit him in the head.

"Well," Tak continued, "I started thinking that maybe the Tallest didn't really want me around, since they paid more attention to Zim even though I was the one doing the actual work… Long story short, I've decided to stay here with Gaz."

"Here? In MY house?"

"Don't be stupid," Gaz replied contemptuously. "She has her own house."

All of a sudden, Mimi burst into the room, waving a flaming rubber piggy.

"NOOO!" Tak cried. "I ordered you to stay in that spare room until I could fix you!"

"Spare – Gaz, did you say she could use my bedroom?"

Gaz opened one angry eye. "What of it?"

Dib sighed, dropping his backpack in a corner. "I'm going out. You know where to find me." He opened the door and hurried off to find Zim.

End of part six


	7. All's Well That Ends Well

By animeninjaNIPPON

Dib knocked on Zim's "Men's Room" door. Gir answered it. "Yeeees?"

"Is your master home?" Dib inquired.

"Maaaaaybe?"

"'Cuz I need to talk to him."

"Whyyyy?"

"'Cuz I do."

"Okie-dokie!" Gir stepped aside and let Dib get through.

Zim entered the living room. "What do YOU want?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I didn't have a crush on that Kat girl. I thought she was Tak and that she was here to exact revenge on you." Dib walked over to the couch and sat down.

"Tak is dead."

"Actually, she's at my house right now. She seems to have an interest in my sister."

"Is that SO?" Zim stroked his chin and narrowed his eyes in contemplation.

"It's a long story." Dib stood up. "But that's not the point. I just wanted to let you know – it's you I love, not Kat."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh." Dib walked over to Zim, hoping to finish what he started a few days ago. Unfortunately, Gir intervened once again.

"OOOO, somebody's in luuuv," he cooed, looking up at Dib with a mischievous grin. This time, Dib was ready – he reached into his trench coat pocket and took out a rubber piggy topped with a blue Christmas bow. Gir squealed with absolute delight as he took the piggy and ran away.

Dib took advantage of the robot's distraction to grab Zim in a comfortably suffocating embrace and kiss him for all he was worth (and apparently to Dib, that was a lot).

Meanwhile, back on Irk, the Tallest were enjoying some well-deserved (in their opinion) snacks and discussing the screw-ups of various Invaders.

"Whatever happened to Tak?" Red asked.

"Who knows? Maybe she married Zim," Purple suggested.

"No, I think her ship blew up," Red argued.

"What about the snacks?"

"She never promised us snacks this time."

"Hey, that's right… Whatever happened to Skoodge?"

"We shot him out of the air lock and replaced him with a more competent Invader."

"Oh yeah. Whatever happened to…"

By the time their conversation ended, Zim and Dib (back on Earth, millions of light-years away) had already begun to watch "Mysterious Mysteries," with Gir occasionally blocking the TV. Gaz and Tak were still playing video games. And somewhere out there, Kat was getting some much-needed shock therapy.

End of part seven

End of story

* * *

Yup. That's it. I don't think I could make another sequel out of this, and if I did, it would probably be mostly GATR. Well, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this! And if you haven't already, read Marry Me, Earthmonkey!

animeninjaNIPPON


End file.
